What to Look for in a Recruiter

I never imagined myself being a recruiter. I’ve spent my career in the administrative world. Getting my hands dirty, working my tail off, doing the hustle. Now I’m hiring those people to fulfill my clients’ fantasies! And honestly? I absolutely love what I do.

I try to be the best recruiter I can be, serving both my clients and the assistants. I advocate for both of their needs, and I try to be communicative and transparent—responding to every candidate, no matter the outcome.

I personally have never worked with a recruiter to find a job, but being on this side of the table? I’ve seen some wild things... Let’s just say, I’ve been made painfully aware that not all recruiters are created equal.

So whether you’re an executive looking for your next assistant or an assistant looking for your next move, here are a few tips to help you spot the right kind of recruiter—the one who won't waste your time, sell you magic beans, or ghost you the minute things get hard.

FOR EXECUTIVES

#1: Hiring the right assistant is a business decision. Treat it like one.

I know you’re busy. I know it feels easier to just hand it off and hope for the best. But please don’t.

Hiring the right assistant isn't just about filling a seat. It's about expanding your leadership capacity. It's about finding a strategic partner who can anticipate your needs, manage complexity, and make your work (and life) exponentially easier. This is someone who will work in lockstep with you, protect your time, guard your priorities, and read the room faster than you can.

So if your recruiter isn’t asking about any of that—if they don’t understand the nuances of the EA role or treat this like the highly specialized search it is—you should pause.

Generalist recruiters hire for a little bit of everything. That’s fine for many roles. But this isn’t one of them. If your recruiter doesn’t know the real impact of a top-tier assistant, they’re going to bring you mediocre candidates. Period.

#2: Since this is a deeply personal relationship, the recruiter should be asking about YOU.

You’re not hiring an assistant for the org chart. You’re hiring someone to work with you.

So your recruiter should be digging deep. How do you like to communicate? What gets under your skin? What do you appreciate? What kind of personality do you click with? What drives you crazy? What are the real skills needed to keep up with you?

If your recruiter isn’t asking these kinds of questions, they’re not doing their job. Because in this case, you are the product. And you can’t make a good match if you don’t understand the product.

The best recruiter will have your back and push you to think about what you really need—not just what looks good on paper. Because a great assistant doesn’t just meet the requirements; they anticipate the ones you didn’t even know you had.

FOR ASSISTANTS

#1: Secrets are not just red flags—they’re screaming alarms.

If you're on your fourth interview and still haven't been told the salary? If they won't share the name of the person you'll be supporting? If you haven't even met that person? Get out.

Transparency is non-negotiable. If information is being withheld during the hiring process, ask yourself: what else are they hiding?

I've seen too many assistants walk into roles where they were promised one thing and got something entirely different. Political agendas, personal assistant tasks they never agreed to, or expectations that had nothing to do with the job description.

One assistant I know moved herself halfway across the country because she trusted the recruiter. No relocation support. No clear picture of the job. She found out after she started that 25% of her work involved political activity she was uncomfortable with. And when she asked the recruiter why none of this was disclosed? Silence. Total ghosting.

Two months later, she was out of the job and back home, footing the bill and emotionally wrecked.

If you smell something off, listen to your gut. Secrets mean there is something worth hiding.

#2: Ask the damn questions.

I don’t care how shiny the job looks. You deserve to know what you're walking into.

Ask about responsibilities. Ask about the person you’ll be supporting. Ask about salary, hours, team culture, travel expectations, onboarding, turnover, and WHY the role is open.

Yes, it's exhausting. Yes, sometimes you feel like you're being "too much." But you’re not. Because if you’re going to spend 40+ hours a week pouring your time and energy into someone else’s success, it better be a two-way street.

Also: if you take a job based on hopes and “vibes” instead of facts, and it blows up? You need to take some accountability for that. Recruiters should be honest and helpful. But you’re not powerless. If you didn’t ask the hard questions, that’s on you.

Final Thoughts

A great recruiter is part matchmaker, part translator, part therapist. They should be building a bridge between two humans who are about to become professional life partners.

But not all recruiters are created equal. Some treat this process like a numbers game. They throw spaghetti at the wall and hope someone sticks. Others overpromise and under-disclose, just to get a placement fee.

You both deserve better.

Executives: Get clear on what you need and make sure your recruiter truly gets it.

Assistants: Protect your time and your energy by asking the right questions.

And if you find someone who advocates for you, listens to your needs, and tells you the hard truths even when it's inconvenient? Hang on to that recruiter. They’re worth their weight in gold.

Now tell me: Have you had a recruiter horror story of your own? I’m collecting them—because the more we talk about this stuff, the better we all get at spotting the real ones from the fakes. Email me your story at monique@moniquehelstrom.com. Let’s make it harder for the bad ones to keep getting away with it—and easier for those of us who care to find the partnership we deserve.